alt bigender character

|BASICS|
Name: Tashi/Liánhuā
Age: 16 but Lianhua only existed for 2 years
Gender: male, presents as female
orientation: bi
Pronouns: Feminine
Race: human
Birthplace: earth kingdom
Current Residence: vermillian empire
Bender or Non-Bender: bender
Rank: (Noble, Merchant, Royal.  If you're royal, be specific of which royal position and nation.)
Occupation: tattoo artist, dancer
Element: m/earth f/water, earth

|WEAPONS|
Name: (Name of the weapon)
Picture: (What does your weapon look like?)
Brief History: (History of the weapon)

|OPTIONAL|
Birthday: october 31
Hobbies: Reading, Dancing and drawing
Quirks: Has DIS. each personality is aware of each other.
Family: mother and father (dead). grandma
Character Theme: (A theme song you think best matches your character)

|APPEARANCE|
Height: 5'3''

Hair:long and black, she usually pins it up in very feminine styles. He wears it in a pony tale
Eyes: green, narrow eyes when he is in control, violet eyes that automatically widen when she is in control
Clothes: usually wears long dresses and blouses. has a necklace that once belonged to their mother. as a Tashi they try to dress as conservatively and nondescript as possible, while Lianhua dresses more revealing, liking to show off her tattoos
Skin: fair skin. with scars on their palm. usually wears makeup when presenting
Body Type: thin and feminine.

|CHARACTERISTICS|
Personality: Tashi Is a fairly quiet and reserved young man who prefers to present as a girl. He loves to draw and read. Lianhua, however, is a very outgoing person, as opposed to Tashi. She loves to dance and, like Tashi, draw. Using her and Tashi's drawings, Lianhua does tattooing as well to earn extra money for them. while Tashi is usually in control, Lianhua comes to the fore during times of conflict, fighting in Tashi's stead. She also comes forward when they have a tattooing job as Tashi doesn't like to do the job.
Personal Strengths: both Tashi and Lianhua are good drawers, going as far as to become tattoo artists. given that Tashi is very shy, Lianhua usually handles the ink while Tashi does the drafts.
concerning their bending they are both formally schooled in earthbending by their grandma, but since Lianhua is the only one who can waterbend, she incorporated dancing into her bending.
Personal Weaknesses: remembers everything that happened to Tashi. she keeps it from him and it makes her kinda crazy
     

Hamartia: Being around people causes Tashi to have a panic attack, which brings Lianhua to the fore, already in fight mode.
Personal Hero: grandma
Dreams and Ambitions: hers is to keep Tashi sane and safe, his is to just live

Likes: f/coffee
f/Being around people
m/tea
m/being alone
Dislikes: f/being suppressed
m/being alone around men

Brief History: When Tashi was born, his father wasn't there. As was usual, he was getting drunk at a local tavern. His relationship with his son did not improve from there. Tashi was mostly ignored by his father until he started puberty. Over the next year, Tashi started to look at the girls differently. It took him a couple of years but he realized that when he looked at girls, he wanted to be them rather than be with them. He started to look at boys differently than they looked at him. When he was 15, his mom passed away. Before she did, she gave Tashi her necklace and told him if he ever needed a safe place, his grandma would take him in. His father descended into darkness. When he turned 16, he told his father that he believed he was gay and wanted to be a girl. His father did not take it well. He locked Tashi in his room and went to the tavern. When he returned he beat Tashi half to death, telling him that no son of his was going to be gay. He stepped aside and a lightning bender came in. Over the next 3 days, this man tortured him, sending electricity through Tashi's body. Sometime between the 2nd and 3rd day Tashi's mind broke and a second personality emerged. Me. I took over and bore the brunt of the torture that the body endured while Tashi hid in a corner of his own mind, remembering nothing of the last 2 days. On the 4th day, the man passing electricity into my body from spine. Alot of electricity. In that moment the I felt a strange pull in the body and I grabbed the steel pole of the bed we were on. I barely managed to redirect the lightning around my heart, though to this day neither of us know how. The electricity burned through my hands, leaving bad scars on the palm that matched the one on the lower back. With my free arm, I elbowed the man in the face as he leaned in to taunt me. When his hands flew to his broken nose and the electricity no longer passed through my body, I got out of the bed and punched him in the face. As I did, water flew up from the glass by my bed, striking him in the ribs. The man fell to the ground, holding his broken ribs. At this time,Tashi's father stormed in. I panicked and reached out. I grabbed the stone shingles of our house and pulled, collapsing half the room. Officials found me wrapped in a blanket crying. Exhausted, I faded into the background and Tashi came forward, remembering nothing. We were taken to our grandma's where she properly taught us earthbending. We quickly found that we could communicate, Tashi and I. every time he asked I steered away from the topic of that night. His grandma accepted both of us and allowed us to dress however we wished. For the most part, Tashi chose to dress as a woman, though He occasionally dressed as a man when the urge suited him When I came forward I dressed a little more form fitting and loved dancing. I found that through dance I could bend water so I never took a master. For the next few years, Tashi and I found a love of drawing and together we started tattooing. Our first piece was to cover the scar on our back. We didn't tattoo it, but we did design it.

I've been having a hard time responding to this because I don't know where to begin. I'm not certain how my criticism will be taken, and I don't really feel qualified or equipped to properly take this character on. But I'll try.

First of all, this seems more like a split personality than it does a bigendered person. It sounds like you've made completely two different people, rather than someone who is both male and female.

Because of this, a lot of what you intended gets lost.

I could be wrong, but I don't necessarily know if that's how that all works.

Second, the personality should be longer--especially if you're writing two separate personalities. We've discussed this issue before on other characters.

Your Hamartia is not necessarily Hamartia....if anything it sounds more like the premise to an episode of Three's Company or a sitcom created in the 70s by Norman Lear.

The history...confusing...a little nonsensical, littered with spelling mistakes, grammatical errors and punctuational problems.

It's...kind of all over the place and almost needlessly dramatic. A lot of seems superfluous to the character, and almost tacked on for dramatic effect--which...doesn't necessarily make for a good character.

You wanted my feedback. I'm sorry...this is what it is.

its all good. been a while since i read it

Much better really well done!

Approved!