A Christmas Wish

Twas the night before Kouzmas, when all through the site
Not a creature was stirring, not even a byte.
The stockings were hung by the chatbox with care,
In hopes that St Kouzai soon would be there.

The users were nestled all snug in their beds,
While visions of benders danced in their heads.
And Yukiki in her ‘kerchief, and Tsumi in his cap,
Had just settled their fight 'fore a long winter’s nap.

When out on the forum there arose such a clatter,
Tsumi sprang from the bed to see what was the matter.
Away to the Admin panel he flew like a flash,
Tore open the shutters and threw up the sash.

The moon on the breast of the new-fallen snow
Gave the lustre of mid-day to topics below.
When, what to Tsumi's wondering eyes should appear,
But a red Ferrari, and eight massive moose-deer.

With an Italian driver, so drunken from booze,
He knew in a moment it must be St Kouz.
More rapid than eagles his coursers they came,
And he whistled, and shouted, and called them by name!

"Now Harper! Now, Borden! Now, McDonald and Trudeau!
On, Laurier! On, Chrétien! On Martin and Pearson!
To the top of the forum! to the top of the chat!
Now dash away! Dash away! Watch out for that cat!"

As dry leaves that before the wild hurricane fly,
When they meet with an obstacle, mount to the sky.
So up to the site-top the coursers they flew,
With the sleigh full of privileges, and St Kouzai too.

And then, in a twinkling, Tsumi heard on the roof
The prancing and pawing of each massive hoof.
As he drew in his head, and was turning around,
Down the chimney St Kouzai came with a bound.

He was dressed bear fur, from his head to his foot,
And his clothes were all tarnished with ashes and soot.
A bundle of privilege he had flung on his back,
And he looked like a wino, except with a pack.

His eyes-how they twinkled! Though his glare was quite scary!
His cheeks were all bearded, his breath smelled of Sherry!
His moustachioed lip was curved up like a bow,
And his long wild hair was covered with snow.

A kiseru brass pipe he held tight in his teeth,
And the smoke it encircled his head like a wreath.
He had a tanned face and a round little belly,
That shook when he laughed and made the haters quite jelly!

He was chubby and drunk, a jolly old Sicilian,
And Tsumi laughed when he saw him, in spite of hisself!
But a wink of his eye and a twist of his head,
Soon let him know he had something to dread.

He spoke not a word, but went straight to his work,
And withdrew all the privileges and called Leo a jerk.
And laying his finger aside of his nose,
And giving a nod, up the chimney he rose!

He sprang to his Ferrari, to his moose gave a whistle,
And away they all flew like a nuclear missile.
But Tsumi heard him exclaim, ‘ere he drove out of sight,
"Lousy Kouzmas to all, and to all a bad night!"