Zen Mazo Tenzo

|BASICS|
Name: Zen Mazo Tenzo
Age: 17 turning 18 in 6 months
Birthplace: Light Bender State of Vermillion Dragon Empire
Current Residence: Vermilion Dragon Empire
Rank: Bender
Occupation: Worked in a circus (Formerly), Tea shop worker (currently)
Element: Zen can firebend and lightning bend due to rigorous training as a child to create the “ultimate soldier” he can also light bend sun rays into a high concentration in order to heightens his firebending although it can lead to sever skin disease such as skin cancer which he has been diagnosed with tree times and survived.
Pets: Albino Mongoose Dragon. This mongoose dragon is as fast as an Eel hound however it cannot be in the sun for very long. Zen uses his minor light bending to divert the sun’s rays but he was only taught to enhance sun’s rays and had to learn this technique on his own making it very weak and only usable for 30 minutes. The mongoose dragons name is Zu-Zu named after his firebending master, Master Zu Dao. Zu-Zu is also rather large for a mongoose dragon making him rather unbalanced and clumsy. Zu-Zu is a rather mean animal only allowing Zen to come close to him however if Zen accompanies a person Zu-Zu will allow them to approach.
Weapons: Zen caries two dual Dao swords and a 12 inch dagger which he uses both to firebend with however they are only used to firebend when Zen is facing a person with long ranged attacks as he was trained to use Dao swords to extend the reach of his flames. The dagger is more for stealthy kills as if in a hostage situation. It was a gift from a female knife thrower from the circus he worked in after the circus was attacked by a triad and Zen volunteered as a hostage in order to save his partner. He also knows how to use a range of swords and daggers due to his parents’ intense training. He use his firebending in combat more than his swords and his most common attack is his breath of fire and sash of fire (a 2 metre sash of fire that is used as a whip or can be wrapped around body parts like clothing i.e. wrapped around hand to make glove.)

|OPTIONAL|
Birthday: January 22nd
Blood type: O
Hobbies: Drinking tea, learning more fire bending, speaking with the old masters.
Quirks: When Zen gets angry his form becomes incredibly sloppy and tends to fall over and make his firebending explode in his face
Family: Jin Sue (mother) and Zannary Sue (father) + Jala (sister) Zannary Jr. (Brother/leader of Dirty Thirty) (Zen’s birth name was Zenarakiri Sue but he changed after leaving home to join the circus.)
Character Theme: Nuttin’ to Do by Eminem

|APPEARANCE|
Hair: Zen has Short straight hair that he keeps cut as a reason to avoid wearing his father’s fire nation hair piece which was a gift from the fire lord as a symbol of the families military authority.
Eyes: Zen has wide silver eyes. These are a symbol of his abandonment of his family. All the members of his family including him are born with brown eyes however he used his light bending to correct that.
Height: Zen is 6 feet tall that is all.
Clothes: Zen wears a Brown Earth kingdom robe and pants due to his tea shops theme of the Earth kingdom or more specifically Ba Sing Se. other times he wears re sweat pants, and sometimes he will wear a large red vest however this is rare due to the fact that he only leaves his tea shop to go to the market and to preform firebending for show. During his shows he prefers to wear as little clothing as possible to avoid restrictions. He also never wears shoes because of the fact that he often burns them when he is walking.
Skin: Zen has many scars on the back of his neck from having moles removed and scales on his forearm due to the old masters attempts at healing his arms after an Agni Kai. Other than that his skin is rather normal with a similar colour to the people of the water tribes.
Body Type: Zen is strong and well-built due to his firebending training but is nothing spectacular. He has lost tremendous weight since he returned to Vermilion Dragon Empire due to him being rather poor and not having the money to pay for food each day.

|CHARACTERISTICS|
Personality: Zen is a strange child. Although he is easily angered his firebending roots from creation and change. He also is very kind to people of foreign nations when they visit his town. On more than one occasion he has allowed a tourist or two to spend the night at his home. However he doesn’t seem to know anyone in his village outside the tea shop despite his kind behavior. He also has a very aggressive way of living when in strange places such as attacking Zu-Zu when they were traveling with the circus. Zen also has a habit of taking fight way too far such as laughing maniacally while burning someone or hearing a bone crack. He also seems to enjoy the feeling of being bloodbended he exclaimed this to water bender saying that “the feeling of being restricted brings back memories of when my parents sent me into the woods for weeks to learn to fight. When I was pinned by badger moles and was crushed by their massive size. Back then it hurt, now it’s exhilarating.” This may have something to do with his ability to overcome the bloodbending of less experienced bloodbenders.
Personal Strengths: Firebending, Sword fighting, tea making, preforming, and studying
Personal Weaknesses: impatient, hot tempered, untrusting, often scared, refuses to get close to people
Hamartia: is indecisive and needs constant guidance.
Personal Hero: The old masters
Dreams and Ambitions: To fire and lightning bend like the old masters. To defeat and rebuild the Dirty Thirty and have them be part of the Vermilion Dragon Empire Military rather than his families’ militia. Kill mother sister and brother in order to be released of his grief. Earning respect of the Vermilion Dragon Empire.

Likes: learning, bending, tea, gambling, preforming

Dislikes: parents, outlaws, hair pieces, poorly made tea, Solar Eclipses, and the ignorant.

Brief History:
Part 1 Zenarakiri Sue and the Dirty Thirty: Zenarakiri Sue was born in the light bender state of Vermilion Dragon Empire. His parent were a firebender named Zannary Sue and a light bender named Jin Sue. Jin and Zannary married in order to breed a young child who could both fire and light bend. This idea was a way for Zannary to create a soldier that could imitate Sozin’s comet. This was to be part of the light/firebender army known as the Dirty Thirty which consisted of /thirty young soldiers trained to fight to their deaths on the command of their General. However when they finally had a child he showed absolutely no talent for lightbending. When the boy turned 8 he had already mastered the lightning diversion technique and was known as a firebending prodigy. His parents however did not see this as a blessing. The boy was incompetent in their eyes and needed to be punished. It was not until the boy’s firebending teacher Zu Dao helped him escape the city.
Part 2 Five Years of Fun: By the time the boy was 10 he had changed his name and had entered a circus as an acrobat with a 16 year old girl. Their show consisted of Arial acrobatics while fire bending with Zen ending with a show case of fire breaths and him ending with him redirecting lightning threw his mouth making it look like he could breathe lightning. This earned him the name the dragon of the storm.
When the boy was 15 a band of firebenders attacked the circus and took his partner hostage. Zen decided to take her place and save her. He then pulled a knife from his belt which he stole from the knife thrower and used it to burn the eyes of one of the thugs. By the end of the day Zen had killed the leader and mortally wounded his accomplices showing to everyone his dark background of military training.
Part 3 The Old Masters: A month later Zen was brought to a secluded island where his partner learned to firebend. Here he met the old masters, three dragons each with a different talent. Zan was a firebender, Zul a lightning bender, and Zaj a healer, the old masters taught Zen how to master firebending as a whole and how to use fire as a life source. At the end of his training he simply needed to open all his chakras in order to gain the ability to bend all fire but when he tried to his heart was not ready. The old masters sent him to find closure in his old grudges and return when he was ready to leave all his earthly emotions behind.
Part 4 Eternal Pain and Agni Kai: When he was 16 Zen found his father and challenged him to an Agni Kai. In the end Zen won the battle but lost to his emotions. He managed to bend the sun so that his bending was at its apex and stuck down his father. After this his arms were burned in a way so he could not bend anymore. The old masters took pity on Zen, and had him healed using Zaj’s scales. After this the old masters told Zen that he needed to become at peace with himself before he could return.

Part 5 In Search of Peace: In his turmoil Zen returned to his home and began working in a tea shop. He also does performances in order to pay his rental fees on his apartment. He and Zu-Zu often travel to the Earth kingdom to see the circus they left behind and Zen will often bring Zu-Zu to the island they found him on.
P.s The Sozin’s comet technique earlier mentioned was never perfected due to Zen’s inability to properly utilize lightbending. He can however slightly increase his firebending for 20 to 60 seconds using his lightbending. It is however a very small change and only works at high noon.

P.p.s I'v never done thi before so wasnt sure if i went over board let me know if i did and ill fix

((OOC: I really hope you don't think I'm mad or anything...this is why I don't always like doing character apps, I always end up sounding like a douche when all I wanna do is help people. So please forgive me if I sound jerky, it's not my intention at all. I'm just trying to be constructive lol, sadly I'm a very blunt person as well. This was a very good app for the first time, and you have a lot of potential. Just some things that need fixing.))

Kk, where to begin with this. There are so many blocks of text that it is EXTREMELY hard to even read this, so put paragraphs in it or something. Secondly, you can't just go making up things about the Army when you don't really know. Since it's my army, there aren't things called the Dirty Thirty, furthermore there are no light benders in the Light Bender State army, they're all Fire benders. We give up our lives to keep your people safe and out of harms way, part of the agreement made when the Light Kingdom became a state of ours.

So you're going to have to edit your history about that. Secondly, when it says bending--actually no that's not a problem, just the bending sun rays and the cancer thing. I'm gonna say no to the sun rays and hell no on the cancer thing, only cuz it's extremely overpowered for a character of the age of 17. Furhtermore, the technology in the world is pretty much what it was in the time of the original series, meaning cancer screening and all that stuff doesn't exist, sorry.

Fire and Lightning can stay though, that's fine....the dream...you know, there is nothing called the Dirty Thirty now, buuuut he can try and create one. You know, try and get a meeting with Owlan so that he can get something going on that? Maybe it can be an idea of his, to help get Light Benders involved? That would definitely work, and Owlan is ALWAYS willing to listen to people's ideas, especially if they help the nation. So you can change it to "wants to create" instead of reform, k?

Also about the history, bending the sun thing, big no. Breathing lightning, another big no. Can't allow those, those are way too overpowered, and especially for the character's age at the time of those events. They'd be overpowered anyway. Furthermore, there is a rule that says characters cannot be masters before the age of 18. And you cannot learn a sub element until 16. So being a master and a fire bending prodigy and a master lightning bender at 8 isn't allowed either, very improbable.

Oh and the Agni Kai thing, seeing as what happened with Zuko and Ozai and stuff like that, and how dangerous it was and all. Fire Lord Kouzai I outlawed Agni Kai's except in the most dire circumstances, and also no one under the age of 18 may compete in an Angi Kai, it's a law (I know I should really post that somewhere lol) This is so that kids aren't killed or hurt when they're playing around with friends, and to prevent things like Zuko/Ozai stuff from happening again. Furthermore, in order to hold an Agni Kai one must register their case with the Fire Nation Courts (now the Imperial Courts) and the request is sent straight to the Fire Lord (now Emperor). The Emperor then assesses the case, and deems whether or not it is worthy of an Agni Kai or not. If the case is not serious enough for an Agni Kai, then it is rejected and it is not permitted. If the case is serious enough, then the Agni Kai is permitted. However, it is refereed by the Emperor himself, and a platoon of Imperial Vanguards and Special Soldiers for safety reasons.

And the opening of the chakras things...only really works with the Avatar...sorry. Furthermore, a 10 year old killing an entire band of mercenaries and leaders without getting hurt? Also very improbable. Furthermore, ANYONE doing it without getting hurt is improbable. Oh and about the military training as a young boy, it wouldn't happen because you have to be at least 16 to join the military and receive training. It is illegal by law in the Fire Nation (now Empire) to be an underage soldier. Can't just have kids running around killing each other and dying and such.

Oh and one last thing, soldiers that can imitate Sozin's Comet, not allowed and impossible. Only because that is EXTREMELY overpowered and considered godmodding, I can't allow it so you'll have to change it.

Kk, so you have to now change ALL of what I just said. In terms of all the things in your history, you're going to have to pretty much rewrite that, and then anything else that isn't history related just change. I know it's alot of work, and I'm very very sorry that I'm making you do that again. I understand this is your first character and all, but there are rules and such, and also there are things that I just can't allow that are in your app. So yeah...just edit everyhitng i told you, and tell me when you're finished editing and I'll review it again alright? And hopefully I'll approve it and remember don't give up, because you have a lot of potential as an rper, this is a good first app, it just needs work lol.

THINGS I MISSED THE FIRST TIME:

1. Oh, and two more things: 1. No sash of fire, sorry... 2. There are no such things as Triads, this isn't like Korra. Korra never happened, this site happened and moved on way before Korra came around so yeah....sorry again.

2. Oh and your character can't light bending if you said he couldn't light bend. And you can't change eye colour with light bending, that's just not possible. Not even the same thing as light. So no to that as well.

3. Oh and the badger mole thing is also improbable, they only live in the Earth Kingdom.

4. Oh and for all your character's murdering he's been doing, how the hell does he not have a giant ass bounty on his head? He'd be the most wanted man alive at the age of 10, and that'd just be....really really improbable. It'd be really hard for someone to kill their parents, and you make him sound emotionless, I'm gonna say either you change it so that there are repercussions of murder by the terms of bounty, outlawing and mental trauma, or you scrap the idea all together.

its cool like i said im new to this thanks for the pointers im gunna look at this again and try to make it better
p.s didnt mean to mess up tht firebending master thing ill definatly look at the rules again and the breathing lightning thing wasnt explained well it was suposed to be just redirecting lightning not actually creating it sorry if that came off wrong

oh man i just re read everything i wrote i hope u realize that i actually wrote this the day before and was tiered i also finished a month long avatar 1 and 2 marathone i guess i got really carried away sorry about that ill try and tone it down a bit not to mention what i said and what i thought i said were waaaaaaaaaaaay off give me something like 3 days and im sure ill get it right hope u guys dont hate me for this

Haha don't worry man, we don't hate you, and we get this is your first charrie. You have potential, and there's definitely detail here lol. Just edit it and you'll be fine lol.