Save Bei Ming (revised)

Name: Sabe Bei Ming
Age: 15
Birthplace: Ba sing Sei
Current Residence: Ba Sing sei
Rank: bender
Element: Earth
Pets: none
Weapons: martial arts


Birthday: april 20th
Blood type: o
Hobbies: smoking, wine, martial arts, hiking, cooking and rapping
Quirks: smokes alot,makes a lot of puns, is prone to snarky reamrks.

|APPEARANCE|
Hair: black boyish hair, jet black, down to the back of her neck, uneven and lazily combed.
Eyes: green, milky, it is obvious she is blind, the shape would be descirbed as slavic.
Height: 5'0
Clothes: a dark green wife beater, baggy dark green pants. has dark brown leather gloves, has a jade necklace with the earth symbol carved in it.
Skin: she ahs rough tan skin, but it is actualy natural light,s he just spends alot of her time on the road.
Body Type: athelticaly built, like a tennis or volley ball player, or someone on track.



Personality: comptetive, strong-headed, likes wine, fried food, cooking, heesh and shish (from a hookah). snarky, is a rapper, has a distrsut intitaily, but is loyal one friendship is earned. takes issue with authority, confrontationial. good at earth bending, and is proud of it, indeed save is a very pridefull person.
Personal Strengths: self-sufficent, good tactician, perservering, funny and gregarious.
Personal Weaknesses: confrontationial, pridefull, snarky, overtly indivudalistic, has thuglike tendencies.
Personal Hero: she admires those who can do for themselves.
Dreams and Ambitions: to be free, and self-dependent.
Likes: smoking, wine, traveling, cooking, good compnay.

Dislikes: people who get in her bussineuss, people who try to limit her, having to carry someone else's weight

Brief History: a street rat with a penchant for earth bending. she is totaly blind, can't see for nothing, but listens to the earth. she was more or less raised by gangs. she worked as a bandit, and became a thug leader by the time she was 12. surrendering to authorities buy the time she was 14, she was offered a pardon for her crimes if she would participate in the way against the fire nation. officialy becoming a ward of the state, she was no freedom and wishes to escape, however seeing some the fmailies that her gang hurt, she questions her morals...

i mean t to write save both times, that the chars first name.

It is good, but can use some work here and there.

A few things I noticed are: rapping, the Avatar world does not have rap so maybe another form of music or just add that she has the ability to sing? In the hair you can take out either "black boyish hair" or "jet black" because you don't need to say she has black hair twice. Maybe just say she has jet black boyish hair.

Next what is heesh and shish (from a hookah) and how does it have to deal with her personality? I would work on her personality some more though. Maybe instead of giving just one word try at forming sentences to tell how she is. If you need some examples check out some approved character applications for help.

How did she become blind? Was she born with it or did something happen where she became blind? Becoming a leader of a gang at the age of 12 sounds very unrealistic, unless that gang is a group of people her age then younger then that is fine. The history is decent until right here: "she was offered a pardon for her crimes if she would participate in the way against the fire nation...." and on. It is very confusing and I suggest working on it. If you need any help you can look at other apps, send my or another admin a pm, or reply to this thread asking for help. I will be glad to help you.